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Last year I decided to skip the resolutions…ok who am I kidding…every year I skip the resolutions.
Instead I did something new. I chose a focus word of the year.
My 2018 word of the year was Enough, and you can read about it in this blog post. As I have focused on this word I have become empowered to love myself enough to set boundaries, follow my passions, and practice healthy self-care. I have tried new things. I have cut out things that didn’t serve me and my family. Most of all I have finally found the courage to share my story as the wife of an addict with the goal of helping other women who are dealing with the same trauma and abuse that I have.
Now what? 2018 has been life changing for me. It took me a long time to figure out what word would be the next step for me. I’m in a period of flux. I am changing faster and in ways that I don’t fully understand. It is a scary and unsure time, but also very exciting.
As I pondered over this past year one of the most transforming events was the Determined to Rise retreat that I attended in September. While at that retreat I walked on fire. As I pondered on that experience I saw an image in my mind of a phoenix rising from the ashes.
You see this past year burnt my life to ashes. The more I learned about addiction and trauma the more I recognized the near daily abuse in my life. I could no longer be happy with my life the way it was. Something had to change and the only thing I have the power to change is myself.
This year my word is RISE. Just like the name of the retreat I am firmly determined to rise from the ashes of my former life and become the beautiful phoenix that God designed me to be.
This year is all about being vulnerably and authentically me. It is about sharing my story, my pain, and what I have learned in a way that can empower others to get started on their own path to healing. It is also about me continuing to pursue my own path to healing.
Healing and forgiveness will take me years, if not my whole life, and I am just beginning on this journey.
This is the year that I will rise. I am determined and I will not be stopped.