It’s not always easy to tell if you are in an abusive relationship. We, as a society tend to see the abusive man as a towering hulk who leaves bruises on his wife and kids. The truth is far more sinister. Emotional abuse is real and dangerous with lasting effects. Did you know that 1 in…
Emotional
I Am Determined to Rise- Choosing my 2019 Word of the Year
Last year I decided to skip the resolutions…ok who am I kidding…every year I skip the resolutions. Instead I did something new. I chose a focus word of the year. My 2018 word of the year was Enough, and you can read about it in this blog post. As I have focused on this word…
I Am Broken and That Makes Me Beautiful
Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of Kintsugi? Artists will take a broken piece of pottery and repair it with a special lacquer that is dusted with silver, gold, or platinum. The broken piece becomes even more beautiful as the precious metals gleam through the seams which were once broken. Kintsugi is a…
The Ultimate Betrayal Trauma Resource Guide
When you are married to an addict and/or abuser a lot of the typical marriage advice just doesn’t apply, in fact it can be downright dangerous. Tips on how to love your husband more and serve him more can just feed the abuse. For example following the telling you to never go to bed on…
Creating and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
To say being married to an addict is difficult would be the understatement of the year. Let’s face it, even without addiction relationships are hard work. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to finding health and happiness both for the addict and their betrayed spouse. When I first heard the word boundaries I was…
Five Steps to Deal With Trauma Induced Anxiety
Anyone who has ever dealt with trauma can tell you that the worst moments are when triggers hijack our brain causing anxiety that makes it nearly impossible to function. When you get stuck in fight, flight, or freeze mode it can be really hard to get back into your rational brain. And the best part…
Overcoming Fear- I Walked on Fire, I Can do Anything
I have spent way too much time letting fear run my life. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of losing people, and yes, even fear of success. Why is fear such a powerful force in our lives? To answer that question we have to understand what fear is and where it comes from. …
Getting Started with Art Journaling
Recently, as part of my healing from betrayal trauma, I have started an art journal. Now I don’t work in it nearly as often as I’d like, but such is life as a mom of young children. It has definitely been a hugely therapeutic thing for me. I’ve shed tears more than once while creating….
What is Betrayal Trauma?
In my previous post I told you that I have betrayal trauma induced post traumatic stress (PTSD), adrenal fatigue, insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Some of you may have read that and said “huh? What in the world is betrayal trauma!?” I know that’s what I thought the first time I heard the term. Understanding is the first…
Military Suicide- It isn’t Just About War
Lately I have been reflecting on my own military service as well as that of my husband. I joined the Marine Corps straight out of high school and served for eight years. My husband waited a little longer to join, he was a few years out of school, and served for 7.5 years. We met while…