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The Muchness Mama

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Relationships

Profile of an Abuser- The Demand Man

March 14, 2019 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

In the book Why Does He Do That? Lundy Bancroft outlines ten types of abusers. You can see the brief description of each type in my previous post on identifying types of abusive men. Now we are going to start diving deeper into each type. This post is going to talk about the Demand Man….

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Filed Under: Addiction, Emotional, Marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Trauma Tagged With: abuse, abusive, Am I being abused, Am I in an abusive relationship, he expects too much of me, How to end an abusive relationship, Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, Is he abusive, living with abusive men, Lundy Bancroft, victim advocate, Why Does He Do That

It Doesn’t Have to Leave a Bruise to be Abuse- Identifying the Different Types of Abusive Men

March 8, 2019 By Emily Smith 4 Comments

It’s not always easy to tell if you are in an abusive relationship. We, as a society tend to see the abusive man as a towering hulk who leaves bruises on his wife and kids. The truth is far more sinister. Emotional abuse is real and dangerous with lasting effects. Did you know that 1 in…

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Filed Under: Addiction, Emotional, Marriage, Physical, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Spiritual, Trauma Tagged With: abuse, addiction, addiction and abuse, betrayal trauma, Demand Man, domestic violence, Drill Sergeant, how do I identify emotional abuse, how do I know if I am being abused, Lundy Bancroft, mental illness, mental illness and abuse, Mentally ill, Mr. Right, Mr. Sensitive, physical abuse, Player, Rambo, Terrorist, types of abusive men, Victim, Water torturer, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Create and Self Publish Your Own Book WIth Blurb | muchnessmama.com | self publishing | publish a book on Amazon | create a family yearbook

Create and Self Publish Your Own Book With Blurb

November 16, 2018 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

As the holiday season begins many of my friends are talking about how they can make sure their kid has fun time off, but also keeps their mind active. It is so easy as a parent to just set them in front of a screen and let the time pass. I know, I’ve done it!…

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Filed Under: Business, Creativity, Entrepreneurship, Motherhood, Relationships Tagged With: become an author, blurb photo books, book creator, book software, family photos, family project, family yearbook, photo album, self publish, self publish on amazon, write a book

The Ultimate Betrayal Trauma Resource Guide

October 15, 2018 By Emily Smith 2 Comments

When you are married to an addict and/or abuser a lot of the typical marriage advice just doesn’t apply, in fact it can be downright dangerous. Tips on how to love your husband more and serve him more can just feed the abuse. For example following the  telling you to never go to bed on…

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Filed Under: Emotional, Marriage, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Spiritual, Trauma Tagged With: abusive relationship, addiction recovery, betrayal trauma recovery, emotionally focused therapy, healing from abuse, marriage advice, married to an abuser, married to an addict, mental health, PTSD, relationship advice, self-care, sexual addiction, you are enough

5 Things Sex Addicts Say When They are in Denial

October 4, 2018 By Emily Smith 7 Comments

You don’t have to live with an addict in denial. Here are five of the most common excuses a sex addict on Facebook used to avoid taking accountability for their choices, and why those excuses just don’t make sense. These responses were written by my ex-husband when he was in active recovery. He’s not in…

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Filed Under: Addiction, Marriage, Recovery, Relationships Tagged With: be 100% accountable, betrayal trauma, cheating, denial, excuses, fantasy, lust, men are visual, post traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, sex addiction, women are emotional

Creating and Enforcing Healthy Boundaries in Relationships

October 1, 2018 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

To say being married to an addict is difficult would be the understatement of the year. Let’s face it, even without addiction relationships are hard work. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to finding health and happiness both for the addict and their betrayed spouse. When I first heard the word boundaries I was…

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Filed Under: Addiction, Emotional, Finding Balance, Marriage, Physical, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Spiritual, Trauma Tagged With: are my boundaries healthy, betrayal trauma, boundaries in marriage, how do i set boundaries, how to heal a realtionship after betrayal, how to set boundaries, marriage, relationships, setting boundaries in an abusive relationship, setting boundaries with an addict, setting healthy boundaries, sexual addiction, what are boundaries

Parenting a child with mental illness | muchnessmama.com | you're not alone | anxiety | depression

You’re Not Alone- Parenting a Child with Mental Illness

September 14, 2018 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

Remember that moment you became a parent for the first (second, third, or eighth) time, suddenly all you could think about was how amazing this tiny human would grow to be. You thought of their future job, spouse, how many children they would have, and all the amazing things they would accomplish in their lives….

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Filed Under: Motherhood, Relationships

What is Betrayal Trauma?

August 17, 2018 By Emily Smith 4 Comments

In my previous post I told you that I have betrayal trauma induced post traumatic stress (PTSD), adrenal fatigue, insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Some of you may have read that and said “huh? What in the world is betrayal trauma!?” I know that’s what I thought the first time I heard the term. Understanding is the first…

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Filed Under: Emotional, Finding Balance, Marriage, Physical, Recovery, Relationships, Self Care, Spiritual, Trauma Tagged With: anxiety, betrayal trauma, betrayed spouse, counseling, depression, EMDR, mental health, PTSD, sex addiction, sexual addiction, therapy

anxiety, depression, military service, military suicide, suicide,

Military Suicide- It isn’t Just About War

August 9, 2018 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

Lately I have been reflecting on my own military service as well as that of my husband. I joined the Marine Corps straight out of high school and served for eight years. My husband waited a little longer to join, he was a few years out of school, and served for 7.5 years. We met while…

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Filed Under: Community, Emotional, Friendships, Relationships, Self Care

The Five Love Languages | muchnessmama.com | Quality Time | Words of Affirmation | Gifts | Physical Touch | Acts of Service | Relationship advice | marriage | Couples Therapy

The 5 Love Languages- Understanding How We Give and Receive Love

February 23, 2018 By Emily Smith Leave a Comment

Have you ever struggled with feeling like you are loved and appreciated in your marriage, parenthood, friendship, or other relationship? On the flip side have you ever felt like you were showing an overwhelming amount of love only to have someone tell you that they don’t feel appreciated? You might be dealing with a love…

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Filed Under: Addiction, Community, Friendships, Marriage, Motherhood, Recovery, Relationships, Trauma Tagged With: acts of service, big family, five love languages, gifts, mental health, motherhood, muchness, parenting, physical touch, quality time, self-care, self-love, words of affirmation

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Living life with an addicted or abusive partner can completely destroy your muchness. I'm here to help you find it again. Come join me in using creative processing techniques to heal trauma, find calm in the chaos, and joy in living. Who am I? →

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